Lessons in Love (or how much i annoyed the mrs today :S)

[hoverfly]

I wish I could fly mode 2, it';s much easier to get rtf toys.
Tried it and had too many breakages ::)

Did you start flying with planks?. Most people i';ve  met that fly mode 1  are glider pilots ,having motor on a switch and the brakes /spoilers on the  throttle so as to bring them on progresivly.
These days with computer t/x the deployment speed can be programed.

[Slayer23]

motors mounted to the 450 frame shock absorbers for Fc mounted ESC';s soldered ready to be shortened all in a morning Gotta love bank holidays when wife is working





and this little beauty is just waiting for me to get outside to fly her

[Slayer23]

Another new trick i have learnt
After sitting here untill around 1am this morning soldering up the esc';s to the motors and making them all look pretty lol well tidy at aleast I then decided to connect them and run a quick calibration

Oh what a f*!ck up 1 esc was working fine   
2 were erased
1 just did not want to know
So i decided on that bum note to go to bed 
so i awoke this morning and searched frantically to find out how to reflash them to see if that would work luckily i have a asp programmer here so i thought yup use that so look at all the details create this mcgyver interface glue 6 bits of wire to a piece of wood and then use the pads on the esc to reflash them hmmmmmmmmmmmm looked like hard work that
so out came the super glue and i cut myself 6 reasonable pieces of wire start gluing them to well lets say the only thing i did not manage to glue them too was the piece of wood
desk, finger even my nose due to one of those itches that happens at the worst time possible.
when my son shouts dad couple of packages have arrived so i open the jiffys  sealed with chinese customs declerations I am lucky with all these gifts i am receiving from china SWMBO does not think i have some fancy woman in the far east!
Well there are 2 shiny new arduino nanos and a mount for gps.


Ooooooooooo arduinos never had one of these what can i do with it i wonder so i go back to the task of making the asp interface when i suddenly notice arduino on the blheli software well blow me down with a feather it took me all of 30 seconds to connect the esc to the arduino flash the arduino and then flash the esc and now i have 4 working escs all calibrated thanks to a forgotten order from the far east

[Slayer23]

Ok it is almost D day the hypnotherapist is coming to see me tomorrow and i cant believe i am not a quivering wreck lol.
They told me to lay off the meds for 2 days before but i have been med free for nearly a week not felt the need so not taken them have taken the mildest ones i have but the big guns have been left in cupboard.
Well i am bricking it I will be honest but i am also hopefull it will help so fingers crossed.

The main reason my meds have been untouched is because i have been busy building and trying to solder when shitfaced aint funny.

So now i have near enough finished the new project just looking at ways to drive the leds but will find that soon enough everything is pretty much in and tied up lol

ok guys i think i will go and have a cuppa and sit in the corner shaking waiting till tomorrow


Neil :0

[hoverfly]

Don';t bother bricking it, hypnosis is a very pleasant relaxing experience.  you will enjoy it.

[LuMan]

Hey, Neil! We';re rooting for you, mate 

Just go with it and see how it goes. No need to worry. Like hoverfly says, it';s actually quite nice 

Let us know how you get on. If it goes well, then I';m going to treat myself to a new SRD-280. And you';ll also feel better by knowing how happy I';ll be  ::)

LuMan 

[Slayer23]

well i am so glad that would make you happy LuMan lol

I might treat myself to a FPV monitor or goggles but wil have to square it with swmbo before hand  lol i only want to see what the attraction is and as my new one has APM i could just plan a mission and get her to put it in the garden and let it fly itself whilst i watch lol.

[LuMan]

Hehe. Good plan. But it would be scarier to just get the missus to FLY it, while you had the goggles on!! 

BTW - I';ve just polished off the 15yr single malt, and feeling a bit frivolous, so that SRD may be landing on the doormat sooner than I thought... and probably smoother than I could land it..... 

[Slayer23]

LOL hope you enjoyed it and why not treat yourself if you are particularly drunk why not treat me too :P:P:P:P

[LuMan]

Gosh, darn it, Slayer! I only just read your reply this morning, when I';m sober again!! Oh, well. Maybe next time 

[Slayer23]

Awwwww thanks I knew you would have some excuse lol

[Slayer23]

Well i had my first session today with the hypnotherapist
strange sensation knowing that someone else is in the old noggin with you but found it to be both calming and beneficial :)
They have given me some coping phrases and these are to be used as i approach what i feel are my limits but have been told to take baby steps.
Seeing them again next week so fingers crossed may be some progress to report.
Strangest thing is the medication I do not know if i am forgetting it or subconsciously telling myself i do not need it.
Still the day is young the kitchen door is wide open and is not bothering me in the slightest stood in kitche after session with them drinking coffee and opened the door to let some air in something i have not done in a long while didnt even think about it.
Wife nearly fell over thought she was going to mollest the poor guy then i realised just what i had done lol.
So the steps for the week as laid down by him is to sit in a chair by the door and as i get comfortable repeat my phrase and gradually move closer if i start to feel anxious dont force it and move back to a safe place but dont give up so starting this afternoon i will i think sit and look at the garden from my chair.
Worst bit of all is i am dying to go out and that is a very strange sensation but have been told not to rush it take it easy and go with the flow,
At least we have got to the bottom of where the fear stems from and i now have something to work with so fingers crossed,



Neil

[LuMan]

Great news, Neil. 

Like most endeavours, just start off nice and easy and work up gently.

Glad to hear that it was a positive experience.

[insx]

The bonus is that the fresh air will do you good. Hopefully it';s the opposite of a vicious cycle, whatever that is.

[guest325]

I';m so glad you found it a positive experience!!!
Now you have to work on it - one of the most important thing is to remove any feelings of negativity and from your vocabulary, this is one of the biggest aids to getting things together.
Having a positive mental approach to anything that has proven difficult or disruptive is key to the whole thing; you will get yourself outside and lead a normal life..... TRUST ME!!!
But as your therapist has said, tiny steps is what does it - don';t be impatient     

[hoverfly]

Told you it was nice. great to know you are making progress.

[Slayer23]

not impatient at all the negativity seem s to have all but drained away to be honest i feel like i have awoken from a bad nightmare i know something chased me but dont know what it was soes that make sense ?

Well i am just glad that i have the positivity of all in this group to draw from to be honest i do not think if i had not found a home here i would have had the strength to have got as far as i have and what with the donations i hacve recieved i feel i need to repay you all

I think next week i will try to get matey over with his FVP gear and get him to fly outside whilst i wear his spare goggles to see if i can handle that at least i have the safety blanket of being inside still whilst outside at same time if that makes sense.


Neil

[guest325]

not impatient at all the negativity seem s to have all but drained away to be honest i feel like i have awoken from a bad nightmare i know something chased me but dont know what it was soes that make sense ?
Neil

Makes perfect sense, it';s all to do with the mind body relationship - your mind can play very cruel tricks on your body if you allow it to - the real problem is that you don';t consciously allow it, this is where your hypnotherapist helps unravel what';s going on.

[Slayer23]

Quite wierd i awoke this morning without the usual wooly head realised that I had woken up medication free for the first time in 7 months.
So after my second cup of coffee sitting looking out of the open door i was well chuffed with myself
and using my coping phrases i was calm enough to actually open the door myself ok i broke out in a sweat but remained upright no vertigo and I am real pleased with myself.

So my aim for tonight is to maybe be able to watch the sun go down across the yard with the door open whilst having a coffee

Neil

[guest325]

So my aim for tonight is to watch the sun go down across the yard with the door open whilst having a coffee

Erased the relevant text!!! JDI!!!

[Slayer23]

Ok My off topic rant see if anyone else can work out why i am ****** and started screaming at some customer services manage for the water supply company.

our first bill when we moved into this property was for around £272 quid but did not ring alarm bells as we had only moved her 6 months prior then suddenly they wanted to increase our monthly standing order from 32 to 47 quid i was straight on the phone had a water meter at previous property and daughter lived there too so we was now 1 less person so less baths and washing machine usage so i went to submit a meter reading to get it sorted and low and behold it was the wrong meter so was paying neighbours charges :S

so this was sorted out and recalculated but i think even this is wrong as we have paid some 300 quid and it was only ever around 240.
so today they want to put the bill up to 47 quid again so i ask why oh you have only paid 46.13 off the bill sir
ok payments made
33.00
35.00
and a refund of
21.87
=89.87 when i was at school bill is like 165.10
dont warrant 47 quid a month in my books
33 would easily clear it like it always has
but then when you look closely
16 of june according to their paperwork the bill is 00.00 as we were refunded 21.87
the refund on this bill is a negative so now they are trying to reclaim a refund we were entitled to
add to this the metered usage of the last bill was some 97 cubic m
and this bill on the correct meter it is 48 less than half so i am asking them to supply me with proof of all charges befor we pay them any more
Who is going to argue that they paid us back what they owed us 21.87 now they want it back and i the period they have charged us for they charged us for twice the usage so now its surely up to them to prove this to me ???

[Slayer23]

OK sorry bout the rant above robbing bstards

So I got to watch the sunset from the back door and I was fine

Slept like A baby but this morning felt apprehensive but managed to overcome it  still not had any meds and still feel in control but don';t feel ready to take next step yet

Neil

[LuMan]

Still great progress, though, Neil. Keep it up. It can only get easier in time 

Looking forward to your first outdoor FPV vid....  ::)

[guest325]

Excellent!!!
Don';t worry about a bit of apprehension, it';s quite normal, just take a deep breath and don';t let it get out of control. You are doing really well, think of it sensibly - it could take as long as it took happening to unravel it, so take your time and just keep positivity to the maximum.
Remember the key thoughts are Can and Will don';t dilute them with maybes or anything even slightly negative.
Trust me judging from so far you are definitely going to win through!!!

[Slayer23]

Ok the Boredom has replaced the anxiety :S
I am going out of my mind and have nothing to occupy me but have loads to do :S does that make sense ?
I have finished wiring up APM for my friend and have almost finished my new build now i have nothing to do.
Add to that i have made and remade the solder joints to the pdb so many times now i am out of solder.
I never had this problem before there was always something to take my mind off of the anxiety even the boredom did in some ways.

Damn I think i need to start listing some crap on ebay so i can afford to finance another project lmao.

Well door has been open all week even when it is raining i have no problem standing at it but do not feel i am ready at least not yet to step outside, The temptation to do so is outweighing the fear but i am reining myself in.

Sleep well i have too much of that now and it is not the medicated kind so at least that is one good thing.

Next appointment with hypno is tomorrow so llooking forward to that but the weird one is i am looking forward to my next appointment with the Dr so i can tell him to cut my meds down. Still want them close by as a safety blanket but not needing them is better

[guest325]

You';re doing really well, I was going to suggest standing at the door next but you';ve got there already!!!
I think that if you can to start to think of your garden as an extension of the house it will become easier to take that first step out; good luck with your next session, I hope it helps you to take that first step!
I found that the problem with Meds is that they treat the symptoms rather than the cause so in real terms you are much better off without them but like me keep a strip as a safety net!

[kilby]

I tend to annoy the Mrs every morning, can';t think why, though u do hear mutters about "won';t be claiming his life insurance this morning"

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